Newley Purnell

Great Onion this week: “Temp Hides Fun, Fulfilling Life From Rest of Office,” and, best of all, Capt. Ron “Mongoose” Haller declares himself “The ‘Top Gun’ of Commercial Airline Pilots.”

In pressing for an invasion of Iraq–despite protests from virtually all of our allies, the U.N., and much of Congress–is the Bush Administration attempting to implement “Pax Americana”? Is Bush’s coterie trying to achieve world domination? (I guess “Coca-Colonization” hasn’t worked.)

Jakob Nielsen, a renowned Web usability expert, has just published an informative new column: “Email Newsletters Pick Up Where Websites Leave Off.” The most important point he makes is that people have emotional connections to email communications, while Web sites are static and impassive. As Nielsen says, “Newsletters feel personal because they arrive in your inbox; you have an ongoing relationship with them. In contrast, websites are things you glance at when you need to get something done or find the answer to a specific question.”

The New York Mets suck. The New York Bonghitters, on the other hand, are 50-8-4 since 1996.

Tom Scocca describes “The Rise of the Asian Superjocks.” “The most eagerly anticipated NBA rookie in years? Asian. The world’s greatest golfer, the quickest pro hockey player, the most precocious relief ace? Asian, Asian, Asian.”

Joseph Epstein: “According to a recent survey, 81 percent of Americans feel they have a book in them — and that they should write it. As the author of 14 books, with a 15th to be published next spring, I’d like to use this space to do what I can to discourage them.” (New York Times; free registration required.)

“The last natural blondes will die out within 200 years, scientists believe.”

Dave Eggers talks about his new novel. Since he’s known for his famously humorous, delightfully silly writing (see his Web site, McSweeneys.net), I was suprised at the emotional depth of his memoir, “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.”

Reuters reports: “An irate Peruvian congressman has challenged Vice President David Waisman to a duel with pistols on a Lima beach, saying he had been insulted and called a coward, and his honour was at stake.”

In Mumbai (Bombay), India, “dabba wallahs”–lunch box deliverymen–are part of “the world’s most ingenious meal distribution system.” I recently saw a TV show about these guys. They’re amazingly efficient. More info and photos here.