DC-based newley.com readers are cordially invited to Heartburn Fest 4 — tomorrow night at The Big Hunt. The festivities will commence at 8 p.m.-ish. The details:
Where: The Big Hunt, 1345 Connecticut Ave. NW, Washington, DC
When: Saturday, November 5, 8:00pm
What: It’s that time of year, once again, to celebrate the foods that dare not speak their names. Snacks that are bursting with empty calories and synthetic sweeteners. Processed vittles featuring colors not found in nature. Foods that make you feel…bad.
It’s time, in short, for Heartburn Fest 4: The Indigestival Returns.
Past Heartburn Fest attendees have brought gustatory delights such as: assorted Little Debbies dessert platters, Andy Kapp’s hot fries, Junior Johnson’s pork rinds, an Hors d’oeuvres tray consisting entirely of potted meats, hot dogs wrapped in bacon and smothered in cheese, tater tot casserole, fried spam, and much, much more.
After a three-year hiatus precipitated by various acts of God, international travel commitments, and threats of litigation at the hands of the Food and Drug Administration’s obesity task force, Heartburn Fest is rising from its ashes like a corpulent phoenix. The first Heartburn Fest, circa 2000, was an understated affair. The next year my bathroom caught fire. Then, in 2002, who could forget the fried Vietnamese cobra?
Join us in celebrating, once again, the foods your mother told you never to eat.
Feel free to bring a dish (or not). No outside drinks will be allowed, as we’ll be gathering at The Big Hunt (address above). My cell phone: 843.597.1502.
Special thanks to co-hosts Natalie Jones and Wendy Harman for their support in resurrecting Heartburn Fest. Mad props to Jordan Mastrodonato for the official HF4 poster.