File Under: Closure

“I found my ex-wife’s wedding dress in the attic when I moved. She took the $4000 engagement ring but left the dress. I was actually going to have a dress burning party when the divorce became final, but my sister talked me out of it. She said, “That�s such a gorgeous dress. Some lucky girl […]

Create Your Own Tom Friedman Column

Want to emultate everyone’s favorite New York Times columnist and globalization cheerleader? Well then here’s your guide.


The question from BBCNews: “What happened to Dungeons and Dragons? In the 1980s millions of teenagers world-wide would battle dragons armed with just dice, paper and pens. D&D became part of youth sub-culture but as the game celebrates its 30th birthday, is anyone still playing?” The answer: Nope. They’re all writing Weblogs. (Just kidding.) Best […]

Sometimes a Banana Guard is Just a Banana Guard…

In reference to the Banana Guard, which I mentioned recently, Andi G. sends this amusing missive from Washington, DC: The Banana Guard proves yet again that necessity is indeed the mother of invention. As much as I think I need one of these puppies–my bananas are always getting bruised and mangled–I have to say I […]

Two Photo Galleries…

…worth checking out are: 1) These gory photos from Iraq presumably taken by a recenty-returned American soldier. If our media were doing a better job of informing us–with hard-hitting photos like these–of the senseless violence that’s happening there, these images wouldn’t be nearly as shocking as they are. But hey, you can’t make a “war […]

Kerry for Prez T-Shirt Contest

Submit your designs and find more info here. (Let’s just hope, for decency’s sake, that this guy doesn’t enter his slogan.)


…appears to be the place to go for ordering McDonald’s in-store promotional materials. How can I get signed up? I’d kill for a McGriddles poster.

“Have you ever considered that we might be insulted because you haven’t learned English?”

This and other crucial snippets for American tourists, such as “You’re very pretty for a foreigner” and “It’s better in the States,” can be found in The Zompist Phrasebook.

I Cannot Possibly Live Another Day Without…

…my very own Banana Guard. (No, really, it’s a guard for your banana. Seriously.)

On Writing

Joseph Epstein says: I was recently asked what it takes to become a writer. Three things, I answered: first, one must cultivate incompetence at almost every other form of profitable work. This must be accompanied, second, by a haughty contempt for all the forms of work that one has established one cannot do. To these […]