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Ecuador’s Amazon Jungle: Oil Spills and Nuclear-Enabled Headhunters

A couple interesting items from another poor Andean nation: Ecuador. Home sweet home.

First, the AP’s Gonzalo Solano brings us up to speed on the ChevronTexaco trial. The American gas company is being sued by an Ecuadorian Indigenous group for polluting the rainforest.

And second, a story that’s too good to be true–mainly because, well, it’s fake. Joseph Addison, writing in Wayne State University’s student paper, claims that…are you ready for this? No, seriously, are you ready?

Addison says a tribe of “headhunters” in the Ecuadorian rainforest is in posession of a nuclear bomb. And they’re threatening to detonate it unless the US stops cutting down the jungle. Quoth Addison, in a article I really really really hope is tounge-in-cheek, but which I fear is not:

Problem is that when a story is truly terrifying, we aren’t told because we might stop shopping, causing our economy to crash.

This is why the mainstream media has not reported the Jivaro tribe and its A-bomb.

The Jivaro people are a primitive tribe of headhunters that dwell in the Ecuadorian rainforests of South America.

According to an article entitled, “Amazon headhunters: We have the bomb,” which appeared last week in the Weekly World News (the only mainstream press with the guts to tell this story), a Soviet-era bomber disappeared in the Amazon jungle in 1961. It was carrying a 28-kiloton nuclear bomb.

The headhunters found it, and they have made a demand: America must stop the destruction of the rainforest.

Um, Joe: you missed one crucial thing: the Weekly Word News is a fake newspaper, a completely fictional supermarket tabloid.

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